it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize