That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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