it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
