omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
