If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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