I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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