Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
