after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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