I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize