but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize