i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
