it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
try to milk me bitch
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