This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize