I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
These tits shall not be calmed
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
