He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
