i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
