Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Randomize
