Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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