my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You are a genius and a whore.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
