How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Alive.
So much puke
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
