another moral hangover. fuck.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Still dying that you shit outside
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
