What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
