Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
