Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
