That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
