ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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