From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
