with your own penis?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
