everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize