I wannas sexs uuuuu
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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