The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
