I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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