I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
