Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
