We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
