dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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