Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
