where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
high people should be assigned attendants
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
