In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
