I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
