Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
