Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
