you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
