The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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