I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize