I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
