No, you can still breathe under the balls.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
