so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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