You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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