yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
