Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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