I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
