What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
