"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
another moral hangover. fuck.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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