We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
