Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
