if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
