i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
