It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
