Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
