You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
