why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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