Ambien. No doubt about it.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize