And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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