She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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