if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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