So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My dick has a subreddit
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
