Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
