So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
