I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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