omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
