i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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