Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
