I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
