she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
