so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize