My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
