Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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