i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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