I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
