Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
