I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
