Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize