I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
