Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize