now i know why i became what i already was.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
