How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
